Your Responsibility Is The One Suffering

I don’t like talking about certain things because some people take it the wrong way and run with it. But today I don’t care…I’m not here to talk about my personal business, I’m here to express how some single parenting women may be feeling. I have a few questions. Why can’t you (men) take responsibility for your kid(s)? Why do we (women) have to pick up your slack in what was supposed to be co parenting? Why can’t we make the best decisions for the child together? Why do we (women) have to be the only ones on call because we (women) know that you (men) won’t be there? Why are we (women) always taking our last dollar to make sure the kid(s) have what they need? You (men) brag about your kid(s) to other people…you take all the pictures your memory can hold of them and post them on every social site you have an account on…but do the MINIMUM in taking care of them! We (women) can’t get one CENT out of you (men) to help and make sure YOUR SEED has what they NEED! But you (men) go and purchase everything you WANT! We (women) have a hard time finding a suitable man for ourselves and the child(ren) because they don’t want to be apart of unresolved issues…but you (men) have women dying to be with you, and she doesn’t care whether you take care of yours or not! It’s not fair to the babies…they never asked to be here! They are supposed to be OUR responsibility, but you (men) turned it into our (women) responsibility! We (women) shouldn’t have to ask you (men) for anything. It makes us (women) wonder if you ever loved them at all! As long as we are still girlfriend and boyfriend or married you (men) do everything you can to make sure they eat! But as soon as we break up you (men) dip out, and we (women) can’t get anything from you (men)! We (women) didn’t lay down and have them ourselves! It takes two to make them, and it takes two to raise them! It’s not fair that we (women) have to put our lives on hold when you (men) get to live freely with what seems like no worries…when you have EVERY reason to be worried because your kid doesn’t have a FATHER to be there for them! We (women) can’t be mama AND daddy. A woman can’t teach a boy on how to be a man! A woman can’t show a girl how a man should treat her! The father has to be an example on how a lady should be treated by the opposite sex. Mama can tell them, but they have to see it being done. You (men) have to be an example to your kid(s). You (men) are that little boy’s hero! You (men) are that little girl’s first love! Those kids love the hell out of you (men)!! And all you (men) do is hurt them!! That feeling of a broken heart starts at home! And don’t think for one second that your kid(s) don’t know the difference! They know and they express themselves to us (women) about how you (men) make them feel! They may be cute, innocent, and easy to forgive right now…but one day they are going to let you (men) have it and you won’t expect it! It’s going to hurt a lot worse than our wallets being on empty! There is nothing worse than being rejected by YOUR OWN DNA! I asked my father questions that he wasn’t ready to answer! We are okay now, but even to this day…he has a world of hurt all over his face because of what he DIDN’T do! DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!!

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It’s Time You Made A Sacrifice

Ladies we shouldn’t hate on one another. What we should be doing is lifting each other up. Everyday I experience hatred from another woman because of the way I look. I can’t stand it because I work hard for the things I desire to have. I don’t like bringing it up to people because they will start looking at me differently, and not in a positive way! If I can do it they can too. Why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we draw positively from one another and move on with our lives. Why does it have to be negative energy clouded around a woman who is simply doing her best in every area of her life? Not to mention, she still has issues with the things she can’t change. I don’t care how beautiful you are…how short you are…how tall you are…how small you are…how big you are…you will always find something about yourself that you don’t like. We(women) are emotional as hell…we’re going to find something wrong! But it’s important to work on the things that can be changed. Don’t just mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Only YOU can change YOU! Eat healthier and make smarter choices when it comes to YOUR body! I for one don’t like certain things about myself. But one thing I do is eat healthy and exercise. I do a damn good job at that! I WISH that I could eat the things that I use to but I can’t! It’s not healthy and it makes you look terrible on the outside! I will be honest, I don’t want those problems! I LOVE bacon and pancakes with Alaga syrup! I LOVE grits LOADED with SHARP cheddar cheese and eggs! I love Steak Out’s BIG burger with cheese! I LOVE Snicker bars, cookies n cream ice cream, and Reese’s cups! OMG I LOVE homemade mac and cheese and dressing! I LOVE German chocolate cake! I LOVE boiled peanuts MARINATED in sodium! I LOVE drinking Root Beer and Fanta! And I also ENJOY alcoholic beverages! Margaritas, different wines, and dark drinks…but I can’t have them! My health is way more important! I LOVE competing and I can’t eat that way and turn around and step on stage thinking everything will be okay! It doesn’t work that way ladies! You have to make a REAL commitment to yourselves that you will make this your way of living! Start TODAY! Make that sacrifice and stick with it! It doesn’t have to be a drastic change from the beginning…start with the small things first! Measuring your portions are VERY important! Don’t over eat just because it’s there! You shouldn’t be stuffed from eating…you should only be satisfied! If you desire to have more wait for 30 minutes to see if you still feel that way! If so, eat something healthy! And eating one BIG meal per day IS NOT going to help you lose weight! What you are doing is slowing down your metabolism making it hard for you to lose weight! Eat three meals per day with a healthy snack in between the time. Eating healthier alone will change you for the better. It gives you tons of energy! If you find yourself taking naps everyday then you should try eating the right foods to give you that boost. Heavy foods make you feel sluggish! I don’t go on diets…I eat clean all the time and it’s not easy maintaining a desirable look! I don’t like what I eat all the time! Sometimes it doesn’t go together! Sometimes it doesn’t count as real food! Some of it has no taste, and some of it has the wrong taste! It really gets under my skin when people do this because they don’t know the sacrifice we made to get this far! But it takes hard work and dedication! So the next time you look at another woman and her body is all the way together, remember that she doesn’t have it easy, and she makes a sacrifice EVERYDAY to maintain her looks and health! Let’s WERK TOGETHER and help one another! Check out my before and after picture…I COMPLAINED but I WERKED while doing it!!

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Where’s The Innocent Love?

We have all been hurt in some way, but love is still very much alive! These men want to love you, but they have been hurt too. Before you except that date with this next guy..ask yourself.. Am I ready to trust another man? Will I accuse him of cheating before I give him a chance? Don’t take another wounded man in if you know you’re not gonna give him a fair chance. He may just be the one you need but you won’t see it because you’ve already placed a label on his head! As women, we shouldn’t have the mentality of sleeping around with a cold heart. It’s hurt piled on top of more hurt! Sex is to be shared with your spouse…two people that have unconditional love for one another. You will never get the full impact on what sex really is until you have that one person that you can call YOUR OWN..sharing unselfish love with each other! Start YOUR healing process..when he sends that man your way..with wounds on his heart..the both of you can heal each other’s wounds. It takes time and you have to be willing to trust! If you open up to him, it will allow him to see that he can open up to you! If you know the guy has no intentions on giving you the very best don’t waste your time! He’s tired of being hurt and doesnt plan on giving you a chance. Let’s get back to that innocent love!!!!

I Survived The Fight!

PhotoGrid_1444546008922PhotoGrid_1444595156811I had the most wonderful experience this weekend! I was apart of a fashion show (Purple Is Royalty-Stomp The Violence) that brought awareness to domestic violence! I also had a chance to meet new people and make new connections! This particular show was very important to me because I too have experienced domestic violence. The first time he hit me..all I could think about was how weak he really was! Most women that are in this situation are afraid..but for me, it was different, I wasn’t afraid! I didn’t feel the need to be! I fought back like my life depended on it! I lost all of the respect that I had for him after that! He got no love from me! I played on his weaknesses! I dogged him physically, verbally, and emotionally! I even told him to his face how weak he was and that he wasn’t a man for putting his hands on me! Of course that led to more fights and arguments..but I didn’t care because I wanted him to feel the pain he was causing me! I NEVER called the police! I should have, but I felt like I could handle him on my own! The physical abuse didn’t happen as often as the verbal and emotional abuse..but from my experience it’s worse! The words hurt because I never thought I would hear them from someone that loved me! The constant manipulation day after day..walking around angry at everyone! Lifting my spirits ONLY to let me down all in one breath! Instead of trusting me he drove around town just to see if I was telling the truth! Trust is everything! If you don’t have that, you don’t have a relationship! But I NEVER backed down and I NEVER gave in! I thought that fighting back was okay to do! I thought that fighting back meant that I was strong and I could handle anything! But that wasn’t something that I should have to put up with…waking up to bruises on my body from fighting! One day I got tired of arguing and fighting and I left him! Was it easy to do? Absolutely not! It took lots of prayer and courage..and it took me years to get over him, but I did what was best for me! It wasn’t a healthy relationship and he couldn’t love me because he didn’t love himself! That was the best decision I have ever made!! I can truly say that I am a survivor!! I don’t look like what I’ve gone through!! I went to war..fought..and came out alive!! Ladies don’t let this happen to you! Don’t be someone else’s punching bag! You deserve the very best! Being abused does not mean he loves you..baby he doesn’t even love himself! If you are in this situation get out now!! Everyone doesn’t make it out..some women end up being killed!! There is a way out!! I don’t care if you are married LEAVE!! Where there is a will there is a way!! And don’t be ashamed! It is not your fault! He had issues way before you! Stand up and fight but get out of there!

#DomesticViolence #ISurvived #SoCanYou #TheStrideOfGod

Trust The Process

I haven’t written a blog in seven days. Why? Because I didn’t have anything to write. Well, I’ve had things to write about everyday. I didn’t think it was worth blogging for my readers. It wasn’t until I complained to my boyfriend about me not having anything to write about…I told him that I wanted my blog to be interesting not boring. But he explained to me that I may not like every blog that I publish, but someone else may like it…someone else may need to read it. After that conversation I got back to it. I’m up early writing down this blog to be published whether I like it or not. It may encourage someone else to do what’s on their heart…someone else may be stuck on a project thinking it’s not good enough. But you have to remember it’s not about you..it’s about helping and encouraging others. Your story may not be a winner in your eyes..but it could very well be what someone else needs to get them to their next. From now on, I’m not going to only think about how I feel about the things I write about..I’m going to think, “Maybe someone else needs this inspiration for today.” I’ll write it down, publish it, and allow God to handle the rest. After all, he is the reason I started this blog site..so I will let him finish it. Trust the process! If you don’t know what to do, talk to someone..talk to God! Sometimes he allows us to be stuck in hard places only to bring out the best inside of us. That’s what makes us great! He pushes us to our limits to get us where he wants us to be! Allow God to push you into your next! I use to keep diaries and journals when I was a kid. I didn’t have anyone that I could talk to..writing was my escape..it kept me sane! I never thought I would have to do this again…I forgot how good it felt to write! I realize that me writing back then was for a greater purpose. I still have thoughts about writing a book. I think that it would be great for me..it would be good for other people as well. Trust what God is doing..you may not understand it just yet, but he knows the outcome will be very rewarding!

Alicia A.