The Old vs. The New

I wondered why a certain person would always remind me of my past…the way I would go off and curse someone out if things weren’t flowing the way they should. I asked God why and he told me. The reason why he brings it up is because he can’t relate to me on this level. He doesn’t know how to communicate in this new and improved language.

Anytime someone brings up the way you use to act, or the way they expect you to act when something comes up is not to be petty…they know you’ve changed for the better, but they don’t know how to communicate on that level. They’re comfortable on the old level because that’s all the person knows.

Don’t get offended by it…just remind them that you have changed. I’m still the same person. I can cut you with my words wearing a smile on my face. That’s the way you want to conduct yourself. It feels so good to be able to say what needs to be said and still act and talk like a lady.

 

 Alicia E. Andrews

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My Absent Father

I want to write a blog about absent mothers and fathers. I know that a lot of us struggle with the heartache and pain of not having our mother or father in our lives. But…what if they did the very best that they could? What if they couldn’t love us because they weren’t loved themselves? I know we get caught up in our emotions because they should’ve been there. But they can only give what they have been given. Even if their parents were in the same home it doesn’t mean that they got what they needed. We have a right to be angry because we never asked to be here! It’s not fair that we had to get the short end of the stick!

My father wasn’t there for me. My siblings didn’t even know I existed. But you know what? I forgave him. It took me a long time, but I came to the realization that he’s been damaged too. He’s been hurt and disappointed. I’m not saying that it’s fair, but he never got the explanation and healing that he needed. He never had the opportunity to talk about how he was feeling at the time.

I opened up to him about how I felt and you know what?! He admitted that he was wrong. He admitted that he didn’t have all the answers. To be honest, he’s all messed up inside! He couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. At that moment, he was very proud to call me his daughter because I understood and recognized his pain. I love him because he is my father! No one is perfect and I don’t have the right to judge anyone.

As we get older we realize that our absent parent(s) could’ve done more for us. But they did the best they could. Since we know these things…lets guide them in the right direction. Pray for your parents because they need it too. Don’t shut them out. Find out the root of the problem. The both of you can start over fresh with a new understanding for one another.

Give them another chance! Right the wrongs in your life! Don’t say you could care less because if that was the case…you wouldn’t let it bother you! Be the light that they desperately need! That way you can be the best mother/father to your child(ren)! Remember, kids say the darndest things! Start your healing process! After all, they are still your mother/father!

RANDOM MESSENGERS

Today I would like to talk about those random inbox messages we receive from the opposite sex. It’s annoying right? Everyday it’s something different. If your inbox looks anything like mine…you get messages from the same people. You NEVER respond and they NEVER get the picture! I wish they would just go away! In the past I would curse them out and say mean things, but as I got older I learned that there’s a better way to handle it. Especially when you have a certain profession(s). You don’t want to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. There is a better way to handle the ones that you aren’t quite sure about. I use this every time I receive a message from some random individual male or female.

I received an inbox from an individual recently and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to make conversation hoping for a phone number. He started asking personal questions…things that I didn’t feel he needed to know. I became annoyed pretty fast and you want to know how I responded? I didn’t catch an attitude…even though that would’ve been the easiest thing to do. Instead I responded with this…“Is this conversation leading towards a business related opportunity? If not, I don’t see any reason why this information is important to know.” The response that I received wasn’t negative. He respected my wishes and moved on. Everyone won’t respond the same though. Some people you will have to use the blocking feature. And that’s okay because nobody should be hounding you like that!

You have to be careful in how you communicate. You never know who you could be entertaining. It could be the BIG BREAK you have been waiting for, but your attitude could throw it all away. Find out what works best for you. Make your point, stand firm on it, but remain professional. You could be entertaining your business partner!

 

Alicia E. Andrews