I want to write a blog about absent mothers and fathers. I know that a lot of us struggle with the heartache and pain of not having our mother or father in our lives. But…what if they did the very best that they could? What if they couldn’t love us because they weren’t loved themselves? I know we get caught up in our emotions because they should’ve been there. But they can only give what they have been given. Even if their parents were in the same home it doesn’t mean that they got what they needed. We have a right to be angry because we never asked to be here! It’s not fair that we had to get the short end of the stick!
My father wasn’t there for me. My siblings didn’t even know I existed. But you know what? I forgave him. It took me a long time, but I came to the realization that he’s been damaged too. He’s been hurt and disappointed. I’m not saying that it’s fair, but he never got the explanation and healing that he needed. He never had the opportunity to talk about how he was feeling at the time.
I opened up to him about how I felt and you know what?! He admitted that he was wrong. He admitted that he didn’t have all the answers. To be honest, he’s all messed up inside! He couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. At that moment, he was very proud to call me his daughter because I understood and recognized his pain. I love him because he is my father! No one is perfect and I don’t have the right to judge anyone.
As we get older we realize that our absent parent(s) could’ve done more for us. But they did the best they could. Since we know these things…lets guide them in the right direction. Pray for your parents because they need it too. Don’t shut them out. Find out the root of the problem. The both of you can start over fresh with a new understanding for one another.
Give them another chance! Right the wrongs in your life! Don’t say you could care less because if that was the case…you wouldn’t let it bother you! Be the light that they desperately need! That way you can be the best mother/father to your child(ren)! Remember, kids say the darndest things! Start your healing process! After all, they are still your mother/father!