What’s Your Quality?

I was going through my journal and I ran across this blog. It never got published, but I think the time is now. It’s funny how I ran across it because I just had a similar conversation with a classmate.

Some of you may be wondering why you haven’t met Ms/Mr Right just yet. The timing could be wrong, and you may not be ready. It is imperative that you prepare yourselves in every area of your life. You cannot expect the right person to come into your life while you’re living the same way. It doesn’t work that way. Would you want them unprepared? You should be what you want out of your partner. 

Some of you are poor quality.

Definition of quality: the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something.

Definition of poor quality: of a low standard.

For example, if you purchase a shirt of poor quality it would shrink and fade after the first wash. If you purchase a shirt of higher quality it lasts longer; the overall look is better. It works the same way with us. If you want better, you have to do better. Clean up your attitude; change your garments; and the way you speak. You are what you attract.

What’s your quality?

Alicia E. Andrews


Sex Offenders Have A Facebook Too!

Y’all gon’ get enough of posting pictures of your kids up on social media. Even if you only add the people you know, others have an option to follow you. Sex offenders could be following you just to keep up with your child. When you post pictures of your kids you are giving them exactly what they want. You’d be surprised at how many people were keeping up with the age of your child. Especially the ones that have already reached their teens. As soon as they turn 18 they’re going to start plotting to get them. We all go through that stage where we desire to date older men/women. Okay…don’t act like I’m the only one. We have ALL been there. As a matter of fact, I’m still attracted to men 3 and 4 years older than me.


Okay, back to the point of this post.


Don’t be the reason your child gets caught up with your junior high/high school classmate! Think about it…we never find out one of our “Facebook friends” were into some mess involving other children until it’s aired on the 10 o’clock news! Some of them look very mature for their age. Someone else would be willing to take advantage of them! Don’t let your child’s first love end up being one of your Facebook friends. I understand how you feel. I use to post my baby’s pictures up all the time…birthday celebrations, trips out of town, mommy-daughter dates, etc. We’re just proud parents, but it’s not safe anymore. The world has gotten out of hand and the internet has gone crazy. All it takes is one mistake. I had to take my daughter’s photos down. We have to be extra careful.


It’s easy for some people to sit behind a computer and type words that hold no truth. A lot of them live lives that aren’t pleasing to God. There are a lot of broken individuals walking around with the poker face. Hurt people hurt other people. Is it right? No, but it happens. We can’t protect them from everything and everybody, but something as small as keeping their names and photos off of the internet is a great start.


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Alicia E. Andrews

All Children Need Love

It takes a very special individual to love and care for a child that has any type of special need. Autistic children…children with Down syndrome…children with a mental illness…children with a hearing/visual/speech impairment. Everyone can’t handle seeing a child that way. When you bring a child into the world, you want the very best for them. You expect everything to be perfect. Some parents’ birth newborns with complications…some can be corrected through surgery and some can’t. Some of us have been blessed with children that have no problems at all. They can think for themselves, interact with other children their age, and be independent. Would you be able to handle that? You’d be surprised but everybody can’t handle it.

You have some parents that send their children to mental health group homes to live because they don’t fit into their ‘lifestyle’. I know because I was a Home Manager at Mental Health for two years. Count your blessings! Be thankful that your baby is healthy with a mind to think for themselves! If you see another child that requires a little more attention…pray for them…pray for the parents because it’s a hard task. It weighs on them physically and emotionally.

Before I became pregnant I would always say that I didn’t want to have a child that needed extra attention. But you know what? When I had my daughter, all of that went out of the window. That first look at her had me head over hills for her. I thank God that she is healthy and independent. I can’t imagine loving her any more than I do now, but it is possible. If she had any complications I would love her even more. Why? Because it wouldn’t be her fault. It wouldn’t be anybody’s fault. She would still be perfect in my eyes…more than perfect. I would love her harder than I do now. I would protect her more than I do now. That seems impossible even for me, but trust me, I would be even more in love with her. Way more than I do now.

Alicia E. Andrews


The Presence Of A Woman

I can remember back in the day when my mom and aunts wouldn’t allow a man to disrespect them. Men back then knew what NOT to say. Men today talk about whatever comes to mind. They say whatever comes to mind. What do we do? We laugh about it. I can’t tell you how many times I have read a status (from a man) discussing a woman’s menstrual cycle and everything else our bodies go through. Because I am a woman, it rubs me the wrong way. I wish a man would talk to me that way. They shouldn’t feel comfortable enough to openly talk about the changes that our bodies go through. It’s very disrespectful and we let them get away with it too much. Yes we are all adults, but that doesn’t give them the right to open their traps about it.

I don’t deal with foolishness period. There is a presence that I carry that doesn’t allow men to try me in that way. You will always have one or two that may slip by, but you better know he’s going to eat those words. I use to wonder why guys wouldn’t approach me as much when I went out. I figured it out. They realize they are in the presence of a woman. Ladies when you make it up in your mind…? It shows all over you! It’ll show in your walk, the way you talk, the way you look, the way you sit/stand, and most importantly the way you dress. When a boy is in the presence of a woman it’s intimidating. They will be attracted to you, but they won’t know how to approach you. You have to change your mindset. It starts in your mind first.

Don’t let anyone disrespect you as a woman. I don’t care who it is. It takes a lot to be a woman and you shouldn’t allow anyone to take away from that. A man wouldn’t be able to handle our monthly visits. He wouldn’t be able to get through those nine months. He wouldn’t be able to make it through our appointments every six months.

Respect is what we need from them. Make them.


Alicia E. Andrews


The Burdens of Our Children

I met a 10 year old girl yesterday. She has the innocence of a child, but her mother thinks that it’s okay to dress her up in tight clothes. The dress that she was wearing was so tight. It looked like something I would wear and it broke my heart. I couldn’t take it. I have to be honest, the first thought that came to mind when I saw her mom was to slap her. But what would that solve? Absolutely nothing. It’s my job to show the love of Christ no matter how I may be feeling. It’s important that I show God’s love. I pray that I get a chance to pour into that little girl’s life. I pray that God uses me in that situation.

I attended a small ceremony for my daughter’s art class and all I could see was the burden all over their little faces. It shouldn’t be that way! They are so young! They shouldn’t be wearing worry all over their faces! The parents aren’t dressing them like kids anymore. Only God knows what they’re dealing with at home.

Lord I ask you to protect our babies from any harm! Anything that maybe going on that is unseen, bring it to the light! Lift every burden that they may be carrying! Shine your light on every dark situation!

PARENTS we have to do better about raising our kids! We don’t have time to be selfish! The kids are here now! They don’t need a friend, they need a mother and a father! We have to protect them from danger! Some of the kids are in danger in their own homes! They depend on us to protect them! They depend on us to make the right decisions! They depend on us to take good care of them! They shouldn’t have to worry about where their next meal will come from! They shouldn’t have to worry about mommy’s boyfriend touching them!

Make their lives as easy as possible! We have to line our lives up with the Word so that we can make the best decisions! God is the answer! Somebody’s child is being touched at home and they don’t understand why! Put your needs to the side and think about your children! They need you more than you need that man! Pray for the spirit of discernment so that you will know what not to do!


Alicia E. Andrews

A Secret Weapon Is Meant To Be Kept A Secret!

Ladies, ladies, ladies. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to realize your worth. No man will respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Some of us have become so desperate to have a piece of a man that we will do anything to keep the man. You have to set the standard.

If a man can’t take the time to get to know you, he doesn’t deserve to get to know the rest of you. Some of you are sharing all of your bedroom tricks to the world for everyone to see. You are giving away too much too soon AND to the wrong person. They are not going to tell you any different. They want to see! But as soon as he leaves you (because he will after he uses you up) he is going to marry the woman that gave him the hardest time. The woman that refused to kiss him on the first date…the woman that caught an attitude because she refused to twerk sum…the woman that wouldn’t show her goodies in his DM. The woman that didn’t mind showing him the door if he wanted to leave.

She will be the one he wants because in his mind?…even though it’s hard, she’s well worth the wait. If he really wants someone worth having he’s going to chill out. She will be the woman on his mind because he can’t quite figure her out.


Just chill and wait! Twerking, breast shots, and sex WILL NOT keep a man! It will get you one for the moment, but it won’t keep him.

Alicia E. Andrews

Say No To Social Media!

Parents! If you have to check your kid’s social media accounts? …they are too young to have one. Bump what the world is doing! You have to think about these things before you tell them YES! It seems harmless, but it’s very harmful to their mind! Hell, we can’t handle it when it comes to us(parents)! Too much is going on right now! I know you think you have everything on lock but you don’t!


QUESTION: Do you really think that you can protect them after that?

🙋 I know the answer!! No!


Think about the DMs you receive on a daily basis. Do you really think your kid isn’t getting the same type of messages? And you know what else? They are receiving them and they are not going to tell you. Why?  Because they like the attention. It’s different. Someone actually finds them attractive. Society has twisted our kids mind thinking that you have to look a certain way to be considered beautiful or handsome. It doesn’t matter what mom and dad think, they have it in their mind of what they think they should look like. Exposing your child to the internet is worse than allowing them to go on a date to a movie. A movie date use to be okay to do. Yes, a movie date could turn out bad, but it’s a mind thing with social media.

All it takes is a few messages in your child’s inbox and a stranger could have their mind. Pre-teens and teens are vulnerable for attention. Things are going on with their body and they are trying to adjust. They wouldn’t know how to handle a stranger messaging them EVERY morning “good morning beautiful/handsome.” Eventually they will have them wrapped around their finger. Young women talk to me all the time and they go through a lot. I’m not surprised because I was just like them!

A lot of teenagers are missing from home not because they were kidnapped…but because they ran away from home to be with someone they met online. I see it all the time with girls, but boys are catching it too. Young boys are caught up with older women because she was his first. You don’t know what’s going on with your son. He’s coming home later than usual and you can’t get him to open up to you. That’s because a cougar has gotten in his head! I have seen it too many times. I’m just the messenger though.

Protect your kids from this cruel world as long as you can. It helps when you share your experiences with them. Not everything, but certain things will help them understand a little better. When my daughter has questions I answer them realistically and she gets it. Don’t get me wrong, kids will try things, but some things you can prevent from happening.


Signing off,

Alicia E. Andrews


Are You Acing Your Tests?

LADIES!! When are you going to ace your test? You know the one that keeps reappearing over and over again? The one that you constantly fail even though you know the outcome? Yeah that one! What is it going to take for you to ace it?

You’re asking for a husband, but every time your ex calls you…you know the one that hits just the right spot?…but he’s no good for you or to you? Yeah him…you answer the phone KNOWING you don’t need to be with him because all he brings is pain and disappointments. Let him go! Change your number…block him…whatever it takes because your husband is right around the way looking at you like…Screenshot_2016-04-25-08-50-28-1.png he’s waiting on a GO, but you’re still looking back at ol’ boy! ACE YOUR TEST!

You want a new job, but you refuse to go to work, or do the work that has already been handed to you. Your new job is waiting for you! ACE YOUR TEST! You want to lose a few pounds, but you hate the thought of having to cook or sweat. It won’t lose itself! You have to put in the work! Your blessing is RIGHT THERE! ACE YOUR TEST! If you would just tighten up you’ll get it! Go ahead and pass it! I know it’s hard, I have failed tests over and over again, but I pressed through it because I knew that better was waiting for me!!

God is not going to bless you as long as your old mess still has a hold on you! The test is designed specifically for you so that you can overcome and pass it! Passing the test (your weakness) will show him that you don’t need/want it and you’re ready to move on to bigger and better! It’s not easy but it’s worth it!


Alicia E. Andrews

Who Are You To Judge?

I would like to write about this whole Ciara, Future, Russell, and baby Future situation. Everyone seems to have an opinion about Ciara allowing Russell to play such a big role in baby Future’s life. I see and read a lot of things, but I choose not to say anything because I honestly get tired of repeating myself.

It amazes me that some people have so much to say about something they know nothing about. Before I write anything else let me be clear…this blog is addressing the things that I have seen and read.

If Future was involved in his child’s life like he claims to be…there wouldn’t be any bashing to begin with. We can’t judge someone looking in from the outside. Ciara has a God fearing man that doesn’t mind taking on the role as a father. This is something that every woman wants…someone to fill that void in their child’s life.

Future may not be doing all he could be doing. Some fathers only come around when it’s beneficial to them. They make up this big lie to make the mother look bad, but it’s him doing all the dirty work. I’m happy for her! Every woman deserves a good man that she can depend on in that way!


I have a few questions fellas…

  1. When the mother of your child calls you because the child needs medication are you available?
  2. Do you volunteer to pick up your child without her or the child having to ask?
  3. Do you take off from work or cancel plans to take care of your child?


4. Is your work schedule planned around your child’s schedule?


  1. When the mother runs into a little problem financially…are you stepping up or handing out excuses?


These are all the things a mother does. We sacrifice a lot to make sure that the child is taken care of whether the father is present or not. We plan our lives around them. You have some fathers that could care less about what the child needs because they know it’ll get done one way or another…but will show up when all the hard work has been done. Don’t get in your feelings about what another man is doing for your child if you refuse to do it! Be there like you needed someone there for you!


The Old vs. The New

I wondered why a certain person would always remind me of my past…the way I would go off and curse someone out if things weren’t flowing the way they should. I asked God why and he told me. The reason why he brings it up is because he can’t relate to me on this level. He doesn’t know how to communicate in this new and improved language.

Anytime someone brings up the way you use to act, or the way they expect you to act when something comes up is not to be petty…they know you’ve changed for the better, but they don’t know how to communicate on that level. They’re comfortable on the old level because that’s all the person knows.

Don’t get offended by it…just remind them that you have changed. I’m still the same person. I can cut you with my words wearing a smile on my face. That’s the way you want to conduct yourself. It feels so good to be able to say what needs to be said and still act and talk like a lady.


 Alicia E. Andrews